5 Tips to Rebuild Trust in Relationships

June 26th, 2015 in Marriage Counselling

What is trust?  The dictionary says that it is the firm belief in the reliability of something or someone . . . the absence of suspicion and doubt, confidence in the integrity of something or someone.

So what happens when someone breaks trust in a relationship?  Can trust be restored?  If so, how?

Recovering from a betrayal within a relationship requires that both partners be committed to restoring the relationship.  It also requires open, non-defensive communication especially from the person who broke trust.

Here are five suggestions for rebuilding trust and respect.

1) Speak the truth. The sooner the better. The longer you live a lie, the deeper the damage. Acknowledge your transgression before your partner hears it from another source.

2. Get honest. Commit yourself to zero tolerance for dishonesty in your relationship. Getting back on track will require patience from both of you.

3. Address the questions that your partner asks you. Respond to your partner’s requests for information without being defensive.  If you are the one who was betrayed be honest with yourself about what you need from your partner now.  Be patient. Give one another space and time.  Decide what is most important to you as partners.  Avoid destructive behavior towards one another.

4. Listen to one another’s feelings, all of them. If you are the one who broke trust, avoid the temptation to analyze, evaluate, judge, or reason with your partner in regard to their feelings. Listen to one another respectfully even if you don’t see eye to eye about everything. Feelings aren’t necessarily rational, but they are real.

5. Stay focused on your intention. The work of recovery from a betrayal in a committed partnership takes time and effort and can be humbling. The stakes are high, and the benefits from doing the work are enormous.